The bereavement process is different for everyone and there are many different sources of guidance to help you. What works really well for one person will be wholly unsuccessful for another. Be wary of trying to follow the “stages of grief” though, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross herself has expressed frustration at how this has become a very structured approach used by practitioners; which was never her original intention.
We widows know all about grief. It is chaotic, overwhelming and, most of all, cruel. It will strike while you are in the supermarket, watching a movie, listening to a song, or reading a piece of text – and when it strikes, it will cut through you like a hot knife through butter. We have all been on our knees, or lying on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably – sometimes for hours. That was my life for a long time. When, dripping in pain, we try to explain ourselves to a bereavement counselor, psychologist or best friend, we are often met with the distinct feeling they have no idea what kind of hell we inhabit. So, we need all the help we can get.
There are numerous links below providing options, depending upon where you are located. We can also help you find an experienced psychologist with whom you can have a personal consultation. See what works – try everything and anything – as long as you keep trying. Don’t ever give up on your ability to recover. It will take time, but you will get there – eventually.
Here are a few words by Dr. Susan Delaney at UCD’s TEDx Talk about grief…
For young mourners:
Online Support Groups
Free books and media
Micro-financing for widows in developing nations